The Smyth Fund is the creation of Ms Smyth, an experienced Financial Dominatrix located in England.
It is very much tongue-in-cheek, with plenty of puns. May I bring your attention to Investment Wanking (pay to stroke), Emissions Management (chastity), Deposits (tributes), and Emissions Taxation (cum tax)… and these are only the beginning.
Office Hours
It's Wednesday 1:25 AM — the office is now closed.
Please note: all times are GMT/BST (London)
| Monday - Thursday | 10:00 AM — 4:00 PM |
| Friday | 10:00 AM — 1:00 PM |
| Saturday - Sunday | Closed |
Membership Types
- Even the smallest deposit
serves a greater purpose. - Exclusive online wealth
management app
- Bespoke arrangements
building greater wealth. - Exclusive online wealth
management app - Optional membership card
- For those seeking exceptional
financial service. - Exclusive online wealth
management app - Optional membership card
- Be the first to get access
to new products
A Selection of Products & Services
Investment Wanking – where your deposits are directly tied to your emissions
Personal Endowment – no matter the size, service and funding options are available
Concierge Service – cater to My every whim… no matter where you are located
Perpetual Bonds -recurring service, for those seeking long-term investment
Debt Repayment Plans – for those seeking to be held in contract and charged interest
Supported Platforms
In order of preference:
Interested in opening an account?
The first thing you will need to do is to read through the New Client Welcome Pack. This will give you an idea of whether you are suited to being an account holder.
You will then need to choose the platform(s) from which you prefer to operate your account. Each platform has it’s unique advantages, however Ms Smyth’s preferred platform is LoyalFans. As listed above, The Smyth Fund also operates via FinMessage, iWantClips, and NiteFlirt.
For those that are extremely dedicated to maintaining an account with The Smyth Fund, it is possible to utilise multiple platforms.